What Shall We Give the Children?
What shall we give the children? The holidays are here. Toys, and games, and playthings As we do every year? Yes, for the magic of toyland Is part of the holiday lore To gladden the hearts of childhood But I shall give something more. I shall give them more patience, A more sympathetic ear, A little more time for laughter, Or tenderly dry a tear. I shall take time to teach them The joy of doing some task. And try to find time to answer All the questions they seem to ask. We'll read some books together And take long walks in the sun; Take time for a bedtime story After the day is done. I shall give these things to my children, Which will weave a closer tie, Knitting our lives together With the gifts that money can't buy. As we enter the Holiday Season the stores, internet and advertisements in the newspaper and magazines are all vying for your attention – and money. Buy this or that and your child will be bigger, better, smarter! We want to give things to our children but as the poem says, the things we give our child that are truly the most meaningful may not cost a lot of money. Two gifts that I found to be everlasting treasures for our sons: books and boredom (yes – whiney, annoying boredom!) One does not have to cost a lot of money and the other is absolutely free! First – Read, Read, Read.It is so important to expose your child to the written word in books. Let them experience their very own books, check them out from the library, make their own story books and have them witness the grown-ups in their life reading books. Teach your child the responsibility of book ownership. They can learn to respect books. If they are prone to tearing pages, get them board books, buy books that are inexpensive or give them cloth books. If they are sitting on your lap, you can model how to turn a page or how to “touch the book gently”. Set their books on a shelf they can reach so they can read when they want to. Put the special books up and out of reach if you are concerned for their safety (both the book’s and the child’s!). Set aside specific reading times during the day. I read to the boys whenever they wanted to read during the day but the “special time” was when Daddy read to them at night. He read them their bedtime stories ( I was never sure who would fall asleep first -- Curt or the boys!) Their first chapter stories were short and simple. He worked his way through Curious George, Charlotte’s Web, Beezus and Ramona, the Redwall Series, and The Chronicles of Narnia. The boys own many (!) books of their own that mirror their personalities but the books that Curt read them as they grew up are in both of their personal libraries. They are treasured for the memories as well as the book itself. How old is too old to read to them? Never! One of the traditions in our home was to buy Curt a new Christmas book to read when Joel and Nick came home for the holidays. We would all snuggle up with something hot to drink and a little snack to enjoy as we listened to Curt read. This year we will have a change in that tradition. Ansel will be added to the listeners and Papa will start the reading cycle again … first simple board books and then chapter books that he read to Joel and Nick as little ones. Books are a gift you give your child and reading to them is a gift you give yourself. It is a time to bond, to share thoughts, to snuggle, to dream, to cry and laugh. Be sure to take the time to share literature with your child. It is a gift you will never regret giving. Second is a gift that does not cost any money at all. So when you are thinking of gifts, think of something to give your child that you cannot buy – boredom. Yes, “I’m bored” is something I liked to hear – (no, I didn’t like the whining part of it but that is another story for another day). When they would come up and say they were bored I would answer them with -- Fine, you’re bored, what are YOU (not me) going to do about it? Allowing your child to figure out how to entertain him/her self is a gift you give your child that money cannot buy. There are many times during the day that you cannot always be your child’s sole source of entertainment. Let them go outside and dream, look at clouds, dig in the dirt, watch an ant or a spider in a web. Give them some “open ended” item to play with and let them discover ways to use their imagination. Old socks can make great puppets. A Cool Whip container is a unique hat, a boat, a bed….what else? Water, plastic animals, a little garden space and you have your own Animal Kingdom. Mr. Roger’s said the best toy you can give your child is a sand box. It is open ended in its approach and ever changing in the ways your child can use it. My boys, and the neighbor kids, actually used our sand box well into grade school. Of course, Curt’s idea of a sand box was a 6-foot x 6-foot square that must have been 4-feet deep. They could flood it with water, dig for buried treasure or just sit in it and watch the world around them. If you allow your child to figure out “what to do” he/she will learn to problem solve, engage their imagination, develop creative thinking skills and be more self-reliant. We are so busy giving them opportunities for structured learning that we forget to give them opportunities for un-structured learning. It is not bad to be bored. They can relax and day dream, they can explore new ideas, try new thinking skills or they can whine and do nothing. Give them a chance to determine how they want to spend the time. Joel and Nick were not always successful – in my view -- in finding appropriate ways to entertain themselves. One time Joel and his friend decided to “switch the brains” of their two younger brothers – creative, yes, but electricity and metal pans on heads was not the way I wanted them to express their creativity! But there were many science experiments in the back yard that did meet my criteria for safety and their ideas for exploring their world. We had mud monsters, assorted “brews” in buckets, collections of roly-poly bugs, slugs and worms. They built forts, boats to float in the gutter after a rain and buried treasure to find later. Give your child a chance to be bored, let them figure out what they can do to entertain themselves, plan for un-structured time in their day as well as structured time. It is important to give them both structure so they learn how to interact in the world and to give them time to manipulate their surroundings so they can learn how to problem solve and express themselves in a positive and successful manner. Two important gifts to give your child: Books to open the world to them and boredom to allow them to manipulate and explore the world around them. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It is a time we set aside to spend time with family and friends. Yes, there can be stress and tension when we get together with family and friends but it is a time to embrace traditions, make new traditions, be with the people we know and the people who know us best.
As we start into this holiday season I hope you take some time to set your priorities to make this a family-centered and stress-less (I know it cannot be a stress-free) time. It is hard to keep from getting caught up in the materialistic side of the holidays. We want to give our children special gifts. We want to make them happy. The nice thing about Thanksgiving is that it is time to encourage families to be aware of the people in their lives and the things they already have. Children are a gift to us and the values we share with them are the gifts we give to them. Take some time to enjoy the treasures you have in your children and reflect on all the joy they bring to our lives. The days are getting darker and we will soon be inside more than outside. As we transition to the cool, wet days it is a fun to do family activities that do not cost a lot of money and can be done while you are hunkered down at home. Read a story by the fire or by candle light. Build a tent with sheets and use flashlights. Pop some popcorn and look at baby pictures – they love to see pictures of themselves as babies and are intrigued by your baby pictures. Spend a Saturday ―on vacation‖ -- pretend you are out-of-towners and be a tourist, or just stay home but don’t do chores— just fun stuff. Make a family movie or have a puppet show. Build with blocks and read Hans Christian Anderson’s Block City. Play a game. Stay in your jammies and eat breakfast on a quilt (or in bed?!). Just enjoy these little people because they will be big people before you know it! I was talking to a new mom about how busy the days are and how fast the children are growing up. Some days it seems like your day will go on forever but in the blink of an eye your children will be in grade school, then driving a car (and, again, you will be waking up at midnight!) and heading off to college. During these years, while your children are small, you need to take time for yourself. ~ take a nap ~ go for a walk ~ go on a date ~ get out and clear your head. Take care of yourself so you will be able to enjoy these precious gifts you have been given. It is a lot of work to raise children. You need to take care of yourself so you have the energy to take care of them. By sharing your joy with them, they will find joy in their world. As I watch your children at preschool I am reminded how lucky we are to have the chance to see the world though their eyes. Take some time this month to count your blessings and give thanks for the treasures we call children. Fall is a time of change – the leaves change to a variety of colors, we anticipate the change in the weather and temperature, the sunsets come earlier and sunrises later as we watch the last of the flowers in the garden fade away. We change our clocks, our meal choices and our wardrobe…time for all those sweaters and fleece to come back out of the closet where they have been (although in Seattle it may have only been for the last few weeks!)
While we look forward to change we may long for time to stay the same. I enjoy the crisp, colorful days of fall, but long for the lazy, sunny days of summer while looking forward to cold, snowy days by a fire in the winter. I want it to stay the same as I remember the fun of past activities and the excitement as I look forward to the new activities yet to come. This is true of parenting. I loved when my sons were young. I was always happy with the age they were. We enjoyed all the “seasons” as they grew. All were wonderful and different and challenging. The joy of the “firsts” -- first smile, first words, first steps changed to first lost tooth, first sleep over, first summer camp. Then it was time for learning to drive, college applications and their first time living away from home. We have enjoyed the time with our sons and being a part of the changes as they have grown from babies to adults. We cannot turn back the hands of time. What we can do is enjoy the memories as we look forward to all the new experiences yet to come. Just like the four season we experience each year parenting has it’s seasons. I think the three seasons of parenting are: memories - looking back at the past, moments -enjoying the present and milestones- planning for the future. This month I would like to write about my passion for the outdoors. It is so important to be outside with your children. I have to be outside. I have always been an outside kind of person. I draw so much energy from nature and being able to be outdoors. When our sons were little we did as much as we could outside. Hiking, exploring, walks in the neighborhood, visiting parks, camping and looking for worms after a rain were just some of the activities we enjoyed. This fall, at preschool, we will be adding to our play area to give the children more ways to exercise their bodies while being in a natural environment. I like watching children as they experience the wonder of nature. The trees moving when it is windy, the smell of the salt air, the feel of the rain mist on their skin. While we are at preschool these are all things they can experience while being in the outside area. What do they learn while they are outside? All of their 5 senses are used while in nature. They can hear the birds, feelthe wind, watch the clouds, tastea fresh picked raspberry from the garden and smell a flower. Their world outside is finite and infinite, the same and everchanging They can watch a spider spin a web, a bird soar in the air, a squirrel run up a tree and play with their favorite toys that they know will be at preschool. While they dig in the dirt (or sandbox) they are learning about physics and math, when they pet an animal they are learning how to interact in a kind and gentle manner. When they are outside they are discovering that they are a part of this big world they live in. It is important for children to be given opportunities to explore their world. Give them time to roam about, by themselves, and explore. It is possible to allow children to feel independent by setting up safe outdoor environment for them. They can play outside while you watch from the window or porch. Give them an opportunity to explore the back yard while you watch from a distance. Some of the children will like the experience of being outside “alone” and others will want you to be near them. It is important that the children feel like they have some input in what is happening in their outdoor world as they learn and explore the natural environment in their yard, a park or at school. Let them interact with nature by climbing, sitting, running and exploring in their yard (or safe outdoor area) on their own. It is just as important to be there to explain the world around them as it is for them to have a chance to experience the world of nature on their own. What do they learn when they are outside? They develop ~ critical thinkingskills(what to believe, what to do) ~ curiosity (what is this …) ~imagination(what can I do with this),~ ~problem solving skills(how do I climb up this rock) ~a joy of learning (developing a love of learning for learning not for a grade or the approval of others) One way to do this is to give them an area to dig. This could be in a sand box, at the beach, in a pile of dirt or a space in the garden. Let them use natural materials, like sticks and rocks, to build with. Our sons had a huge sand box to play in. They would spend hours building roads for their vehicles, homes for their animals and dinosaurs, digging for buried treasures. I would sit nearby and read or we would build together depending on how they wanted to play that day. It was a delightful way to spend a sunny afternoon. “When we treat children's play as seriously as it deserves, we are helping them feel the joy that's to be found in the creative spirit. It's the things we play with and the people who help us play that make a great difference in our lives.” ― Fred Rogers As our sons grew their “sandbox world” changed to climbing the boulder in the Cougar Rock Campground at Mt Rainier National Park, exploring my Grandfather’s farm in Ohio, playing Ultimate Frisbee games at Discovery Park and hiking in the North Cascades. Nick has summited Mt Rainier, Mt Baker, Glacier Peak and Mt Olympus. Joel and Danielle climbed Half Dome in Yosemite. They have gone on several National Park trips. They still like to spend time at Mt Rainier with their wives. We spent a lot of time hiking and camping. Now both Joel and Nick spend time with climbing, hiking and camping with their wives and family. Danielle takes Ansel and Zoe out on hikes every day. They spend time looking at leaves, playing Pooh Sticks and exploring the neighborhood parks along with hikes that are in the mountains and at the beach. Danielle loves the outdoors and she is sharing that love wither children. Just as I shared my love of the outdoors with my sons. I would like to think that their love to explore the outdoors, and the world around them, is partly inspired by the worlds they created in their backyard sandbox and the time we spent exploring the world together as a family. Take some time to allow your children to explore the world around them and you will be planting seeds of curiosity that will grow in them. A FUN FALL NATURE ACTIVITY. Take a COLOR WALK. Learn about the colorful diversity of nature and the usefulness of camouflage. Gather squares of paper in different colors – or let your child pick out some paint-chip cards at the store – and go on walk around the neighborhood, your back yard, or the park. Collect things that match your color cards. Green – grass, Yellow-dandelions, Red- leaves, Brown-pinecone, etc. (you can point out that at this time of the year all the colors that the leaves are) You can collect them in a plastic baggie or gather them up and place them on the sheets of colored paper. Talk about the colors and size of the items you collect. Talk about what colors are easy to find, what color is your favorite, where do find colors, how many colors are in the sky. See if you can name something from each color. I am excited to be starting my 30th year teaching preschool. I have been teaching at Crown Hill for 26 of the 30 years I have been with North Seattle ‘s cooperative preschool program. I received a K-12 teaching certificate and BA in Psychology from Seattle Pacific University. Before I taught cooperative preschool I started a private kindergarten at North Queen Anne Day Care and was a K-6 gifted teacher in the Shoreline School District.
I decided to stop teaching when I had Joel in 1982. We bought our house in Loyal Heights and I started an in-home daycare. I had my daycare until with Joel and Nick both were in school. For most of the time I had my daycare I took care of 6 other little boys. We had our own little preschool! We went everywhere together in our Ford Bronco. It was quite a sight to see us all getting out the vehicle. I found out about the cooperative teaching job from my neighbor. She saw the ad in the Ballard News Tribune – a local weekly newspaper. The Parent Educator that hired me has been my friend and mentor the whole time I have taught preschool. The college website gives this information about the preschool program. Started over 50 years ago, the NSC Cooperative Preschool Program offers a warm and gentle introduction to school and community life for young children and their families. Adults and children learn together, grow together, and actively build a community together. NSC’s Cooperative Preschools provide parent and early education for families with children from infancy to Pre-K. For children, co-op is a safe and nurturing place in which to explore and have fun. Social, emotional and intellectual skills are learned through cooperative and creative play. For parents, it’s a place to improve parenting skills, help shape their child’s first school environment, and form lasting friendships. I have always enjoyed working with the children and I appreciate the support given to the families by each other. The parent education helps families as they interact with their child and as they develop relationships with other children and their families. It is a strong network that supports families during the preschool years and beyond. I just met with some of the moms from one of our classes – their little ones are starting high school and learning to drive! They still meet on a regular basis and have stayed connected as their children have moved through the school years. From another class a dad sent me a note to say they were all going camping to celebrate a birthday – this weekend – in the rain! But off they all went with the children that had all played together for the last 3 years during preschool and are still playing together as Kindergarteners. Cooperative preschool is a time for learning and growing for both the child and the parent. It is a time to develop friendships that will last for years – for both the child and the parents. As we start the new year we will continue to work together in the classroom as we build friendships – some that will last for years. I want this to be a year that builds a foundation for developing their love of learning. I want this year to be a time for both the children, and the adults, to learn, grow, explore and engage in a safe and secure setting. Instead of the 3 R’s we will have the 5 R’s … Reading – together as a family activity Rhyming – talking, singing, using language throughout the day Routines – keeping a child’s schedule consistent Rewards – acknowledging your child’s achievements Relationships – building strong, healthy relationships between children and trusted adults I am looking forward to a great year together. SUMMER IS HERE … but it feels a little like fall. Here is a fun way to start out the cool weather week we will have as we officially start summer.
When my sons were younger, and I was doing home day care with 6 other little boys, I would start Mondays by baking bread or making a fresh batch of playdough. This week looks like it will be a great week to make a loaf of banana bread and try out this recipe I found in a book by Asia Citro that my daughter-in-law, Danielle, gave me. 150+ Screen Free Activities for Kids. I will be using this book all summer to share ideas you can use with your children. Baking with your child promotes interest in what they are eating, math skills, fine motor skills, sensory experiences and scientific investigation. The smell of fresh bread (or anything you bake) will bring back memories of this activity when they are older. A cool, cloudy Seattle day is a great day to fill your home with the aroma of something baking in the oven. I suggested banana bead because the same ripened bananas are part of the edible play dough recipe I am including in this note to you. EDIBLE BANANA PLAYDOUGH ½ cup ripe or overripe banana, mashed ½ cup water ½ cup vegetable oil 2 ¼ cups flour ¾ cup cornstarch
ENJOY playing with this edible dough. This dough is perishable so store in the refrigerator in an airtight container. Discard in a few days or when it shows signs of spoiling -- if it smells ‘foul’, discolors or has mold. This is a fun dough to add kitchen tools to when playing with it. Muffin pans, rolling pins, cupcake holders, birthday candles, colored macaroni noodles to poke into the dough, etc. February is a month we think of those we love. Love is expressed in so many ways: a hug, a kiss, a kind word, a smile and the list goes on. Each day we have many opportunities to show people how special they are to us. From the way we greet our family in the morning to the way we respond to the not-so-friendly neighbor, we are modeling love to our children. They will learn a lot about love and kindness by watching how we respond to them, and others, during the day. They will also learn about forgiveness, patience, understanding, relationships and conflict resolutions. We are not perfect, and as hard as we try, we do not always show the “best” to our children. But this is a perfect opportunity to model how we respond to those we love, or those we have relationships with, when we haven’t reacted in a kind or appropriate manner. Some-times how we make amends is a better model of love than our hugs and kisses.
After a hard day we are not as fresh as we were in the morning, or for some of you, who are not morning people, evening may be the best time of day for you. Whenever you are running low on those warm-fuzzies try to give your children a clue that this may not be a good time for you. I used to look at the boys and say, “look at this face, do you think this is a good time for this?!” As they get older you can use humor to release the tension and maybe get a laugh out of the situation. I was on the phone with my sister-in-law when her son (now 20) was having a playdate. I was reminded that timing is everything. She was at her wits end, the children (Joshua, then 5, his friend, Brandon, and the 2 year old brother, Carson) had returned to the house covered in mud (again), she would have to change their clothes (again), she would have to mop the kitchen floor (again), and she would have to wash them and their clothes (again)! As she was talking to me I could hear little Carson talking to her about what she had for him to wear. His sweet little voice brought back the images of chubby little people who used to bring dirt, mud and assorted other “fun” into my life. I would have given anything to be sitting in her kitchen cuddling with that little two year old or better yet sitting outside watching them giggle and laugh as they played in the mud. Of course, 30 years ago when my little cherubs were riding bikes through the “hugest” puddle in the campground, in the only clean clothes left in our cabin, after a week of non-stop rain and after I had told them “absolutely no more riding through that puddle!” I wasn’t in such a warm and fuzzy mood! Like I said timing is everything! Just remember that the day will soon be over but the lessons they learn will be theirs forever. Teach them love, compassion, humor, and let them know you will always be there for them and, remember, these memories of toddler-hood and preschool will always be there for you. There are many ways you can show love to your children and in that expression of love they will feel honored and special. My guys loved it when we left little surprises at the end of a “treasure hunt” around the house, story books with pictures of them as the main character, allowing them to make the menu for the evening meal and then eating whatever is on their menu and sitting around the table listening as they shared about their day. We had special adult friends that also showed them they were important. The friendships with those adults are still in place to this day. It is important to have adults in their lives that are not “the parents”. Grandparents, aunts/uncles, family friends can be there for your child when they need to bounce ideas off someone but they don’t want it to their parent. Joel will still tell Aunt Elysia things that he will not tell us. These adults can say the same thing that Mom and Dad say but it somehow is different coming from them. I cherish the times I have with the “kids” in my life that are my friend’s children and the conversation we can have because I have known them all of their life. Take time to show the people in your life how special they are to you. Cherish the time you have with these children and remember what a blessing these little people in our lives! Happy February! OUTSIDE ACTIVITIES Go on a neighborhood explore... Talk about the light and how it shines on the snow. Look for things that are frozen. Can you find ice that is in the process of melting because of the sunshine? Is there ice that has melted and has frozen again overnight? Shadows! Make shadows on the snow and then on the grass. How are they the same and how are they different? Snow on the mountains. Ask questions. Why does it stay on the mountains even though it is sunny today? Why does it melt on the street but not on the grass? Look for snow sculptures, snow people, snow forts. Can you find tracks in the snow where people, dogs, cats and birds have walked on it. Do you see tracks from sleds and from rolling a ball in the snow? Measure the snow. Is there more snow in the shade? More snow under a bush? Do you see snow on the roof of a house? Enjoy a walk through the neighborhood on a sunny snow day. ~Janice Ice Sculptures To make an ice sculpture you will need to pick some water proof items to make the interior sculpture with. After you place the items in the baggie or container fill it with water. Be sure that your yarn/pipe cleaner/string is partly inside the water and part of it outside Set the sculpture out side in the snow / on your deck or porch. After it freezes remove the sculpture form the plastic baggie / container and hang it up. It will glisten in the sun.
With the cold weather and snow the birds are on the hunt for food — and water. Here is a simple bird feeder you can make with items you have at home. The bird seed may be the only thing you don’t have but you can substitute uncooked oatmeal for the birdseed. It is a little less messy and the birds love it. First cut a shape from a piece of cardboard, cardstock or something stiff. You can also use a stick or piece of wood. Then the birds will have a natural place to sit while they enjoy your special treat. :-) Add a string, twine or a pipe cleaner for the feeder’s hanger. Next you will need bird seed or oatmeal and something to use as “glue”. Nut butter or shortening work well as the "glue". Shake off the excess — this can get messy so be sure to do it over a piece of paper or outside Take your bird feeder outside and hang it from a branch on a tree or a place the birds can find it….and probably the squirrels as well. If you hang it near a window your child can watch the birds come and eat from their feeder.
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